Man, I feel like a woman!

It's been well over a year since I last had my period.  My period vanished into thin air as soon as I began chemo in September 2013.  Now a year and three months later, it is back!  At least I hope it is.  At the end of my day I will see if it is really back.  

I was so scared when I finished chemo back in January.  Each time I went for a follow up visit with my oncologist, they would tell me not to worry.  They said that 60% of women get their period back.  They also told me not to rely on that as a basis for fertility.  I know it's hard not to think of having your period equating to pregnancy, but if you ask any girl that has gone through chemo, you will find that they all have their hopes of having children riding on when they will get their period back.  All I've ever wanted since I was little  to be a mom.  I know it sounds silly considering all the leaps and bounds women have overcome and achieved to still put my hopes and joy in just something like motherhood.  However, this was my dream - to get married and have a family.  My dreams were crushed when I started chemo and lost my period.  I know it's not the end of the world but having to go through chemo seriously takes a toll on a woman's fertility.  I didn't have my eggs frozen or anything like that, and most people would reprimand me for not giving myself the fighting chance to preserve what I had, but I felt that if God really wanted me to become a mother, then by His hand He would allow me the chance when the time was right.  

I had a bout with kidney stones in November and it ended with me in the ER.  One of the symptoms of having kidney stones is blood in the urine.  Now, unbeknownst to me, I had a big one on my left side and two small ones on my right side.  When the nurse asked for a urine sample I remember looking down into the toilet and seeing blood and I can't tell you how ecstatic I was!  That was until I wiped and didn't see any on the toilet paper.  I know it sounds crazy, but I was so happy thinking my period had finally come back only to realize there blood in my urine due to kidney stones.  I never lost hope and continued praying that God would bless me with a good husband.  I prayed every night that we would be blessed with children.  And although I understand that having my period doesn't mean that I can get pregnant, it at the very least means that my is slowly getting back to normal.

This is such a sensitive topic for some and most wouldn't even dream of oversharing this information.  I'm different though.  I think by sharing my experience and my life with people that it helps me to heal and it helps others to see that there is hope out there.

Why Now?

So it's been 1 year, 2 months, and 4 days since I received the diagnosis of breast cancer.  This blog is going to detail everything that I went through.  Even from before my diagnosis, from the very beginning when I found my first lump.  Please keep in mind, that although I am starting this blog now, I have been writing and keeping records of my journey.  This is just the place where I can put everything together.  So don't be surprised if you find there is a lot to read.  I will be uploading all my past stories, thoughts, comments, emotions, and rants on here along with pictures, videos, tips, and all my silliness.  

If you're reading this, thank you.  

I hope you share my story with someone you love.  

Although I can't stop anyone from getting breast cancer, I want to make it easier for anyone that is diagnosed.  That starts with me doing my best to tell my story to as many people as possible.  Knowledge is power and early detection is key.  Be your own advocate and never forget, no matter how bad it seems, there is always HOPE.